Hello friends!

I know I have been MIA for a while now 😦 You can thank junior year for that. Junior year was hands down the toughest year of school I have ever had. Somehow, though, I survived, and managed to get straight As despite my crazy AP and honors classes! 🙂 So in the end, even though I thought I might not make it a few times, I did and now I am free for 2 months!!!

I know I left you guys hanging in a big way with my Junior Dinner Dance so I will keep you in suspense no longer. JDD was a ton of fun! I went with a really great group of friends. One good thing that did come out of Junior year is that I found a group of friends this year that I love and feel really close too, which I have struggled to do in past years. My date was also a good friend of mine, although I won’t lie I wish he was more than that (more in that later :P). The dance itself was ridiculously fun even if it was pretty cliché, I mean come on we all love a little cliché sometimes!

So now many of you probably want to know about this guy…

He and I  met in like 7th grade. We were kind of friends for most of middle school. Freshman year we kind of lost touch but last year we had a class together and became really good friends. Around that same time I realized that despite, or maybe because, he was a pretty big nerd (in the best possible sense I believe that being a nerd is a great thing to be :P) I REALLY like him. He’s funny, and in a school where I feel 10x smarter than 90% of the people he challenged me to think. This year we again had a class together and only became better friends. We texted each other almost daily, talked daily, and hung out a few times. To me and all of my friends it seemed pretty clear that he felt the same way about me that I did about him.

So about a week after JDD I asked him how he felt about me. I didn’t confess my undying love for him or anything crazy just “I was wondering if you saw me as just a friend of maybe more…” To his credit he let me down quite easy. He told me that at the moment he was not looking for a relationship, he hoped he hadn’t led me on, and wanted to stay “close friends.” Was I disappointed? Yeah, as high school began I had quickly given up on finding a guy who could get me enough to be my boyfriend. But as we got closer I got my hopes up that maybe I would actually have a boyfriend. So despite him being really nice about it, it was still hard to hear.

I had hoped that we could go back to normal as much as possible after that. Obviously I expected it to be a little awkward at first, but I am pretty mature, and I thought he was as well so we could get past it right? Apparently not. 3 months later, despite plenty of effort on my part, we hardly talk and he seemed to only get more uncomfortable as time went on. 😦

And now its summer, so who knows what will happen. I know that his life has not been easy lately and will only get harder this summer. He has problems with his jaw and just today got pretty intense surgery to fix it, the recovery from which will take all summer. But I should also note that he never told me this himself, his mom told my mom who told me. I am hoping that maybe when he has recovered from the surgery and it is not looming on his mind anymore maybe things will change with us, but I am also trying to move on 🙂

Phew! Lets move away from the personal soap opera now and onto today, which has been pretty uneventful.

I woke up at 7:30, that may not seem late but compared to getting up at 5:30 for school it was heaven. Breakfast was a homemade waffle with peanut butter, fig jam, and a banana with a pear, grapes, and cherries.

AFter breakfast I went to kickboxing ( I love being able to drive!!) and had a killer workout.

Lunch was barbecue tempeh and salad that I forgot to take pictures of because I was so hungry 😛

So there’s my update for y’all! My weight is still going up and down, although more the former than the latter unfortunately. My thyroid medication seems to be working as far as my blood tests showed but I haven’t been having any better luck on the scale yet but I will keep you posted.

I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of summer, especially if you are still in school!!

xoxo Elli

So a while ago I got a request to do a blog about what I eat in a day. I’m sorry to say that it has taken me this long to get that blog up but it required remembering to take pictures of everything (I am prone to remembering I had to photograph something right after eating it), and then getting all those photos into a blog. But better late than never right? So here you go my day in food…

I start out pretty much everyday with the same breakfast (not that much has changed :P)

Now, however, breakfast starts out with an orange and a grapefruit, segmented, squeezed, and savored!

followed by…

Quinoa and light soy-milk with banana and applesauce to sweeten it, and pumpkin, cinnamon, ground cloves, ginger, and nutmeg and dried cranberries on top! I look forward to this everyday. It is so yummy and filling.

At school I have a mid-morning snack at about 8:30 to 9:00 ( I eat breakfast at about 6).

This is my favorite snack. they are 100 calories and have 6 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber and literally taste like a 3 musketeers bar only better.

Lunch is salad with turkey, broccoli, red pepper, tomatoes, and mango salsa (normally but not in this picture)

the dressing is just balsamic vinegar, olive oil, a little bit of agave syrup, salt, and pepper!

I also have some fruit, normally grapes, oranges, or apples and then either 100 calories of crackers ( I weigh out 100 calorie portions) or 100 calories of pretzels. Lunch is normally at 11:30.

When I get home from school at around 3 I have another snack

I start out with a VitaTop in one of many flavors, toasted.

The rest of my snack is an apple and some grapes with cottage cheese

I will also occasionally have a Baby Bel cheese and/or a Rye Vita Cracker if I get hungry again before I work out.

Dinner is often some kind of soup 

Or I also will have other things like frozen meals (there are some really great natural ones at my local super market) or an egg white omelette.

The biggest change in how I have been eating is that I used to always have toast or something with my soup and eggs and not I am not having that. For me a lot of those extra calories that were keeping me from losing weight came from carbs so by cutting out some of the carbs in my diet I have been losing weight better. I still have carbs but I try to avoid too may “dry carbs” hence the quinoa instead of cereal for breakfast, salad with some crackers or pretzels rather than a sandwich, and some rice in my soup instead of bread on the side.

Dessert is always a chocolate Vitatop or Vitamuffin 🙂

So there you go!

In other news this week I did a little bit too much snacking but nothing major. I gained .8 this week according to my frenemy the scale. I am not sure how much I really gained (if any though) because I did a boot camp at the place where I kick-box yesterday and am quite sore from that. And I know that when you are sore it’s from little tears in your muscles and that makes you retain water and on top of that I drank a ton of water yesterday. Maybe I am just making excuses but I do think that could be a factor because I feel like I look thinner. I am still going to work on not snacking so much this week though. Just taking it one day at a time.

On that note I cam to a little realization this week. I have been really frustrated with my weight especially today when I was hoping to see 153 (losing 1 pound) and instead say 155. I can still remember that feeling of seeing 151 and was frustrated that I am not there.  But I think I have to stop thinking about trying to get back there and just treat this not as losing recently gained weight and just as losing weight like normal. I can’t be impatient with myself. Again I am stuck in the past where I was a different weight instead of just focusing on where I am now. I have to forget that I once weighed 151 and just focus on what I weigh now. I’m not sure that makes sense like it does in my head but that is what I have been thinking…

I got frozen yogurt with my friend again Friday and that was so much fun. Afterwards we went to a coffee shop nearby and had tea and some cookies. It was so nice to just sit and chat with her again! We never see each other in school so its easy to forget how much we have in common. And not just that we both love purple but we have very similar views of the world. I can have conversations with her that I couldn’t have with just about anyone else I know, especially from school.

Speaking of school it is about to get really stressful… Midterms are the week after next, but this week is when all my classes that require an essay for the midterm are giving the essay. So I will have an english essay, a psych essay, and a history essay. I am not at all looking forward to them. They are just theses 3 big looming clouds that I can just see on the horizon and am totally dreading. I will study as best I can for them obviously but that doesn’t really make it less stressful.

To add to the stress I am taking the SATs next Saturday. I have been studying for the math section but that doesn’t do much to help my confidence. I am lucky that the college I most want to go to, Smith, doesn’t require SAT scores so if I bomb them I can just not send in the scores, and I can also take them again, but still 4 hours of testing is not something I think anyone looks forward too.. And then Midterms start that following Monday with my hardest day: AP Bio and AP Psych… ouch!!!

So that is what is going on in my life! Today my mom and I are going food shopping and I have a french project I should work on, I have to read the Miller’s Tale from the Canterbury Tales for english ( I loove them though so this won’t even be hard!), and I need to keep studying for the SATs! I also have to study for my history essay especially and read some of the psych textbook… thank goodness I have tomorrow off from school for Martin Luther King day.

I hope everyone has had a happy and delicious week! If the essays and SATs don’t kill me I will let you know how they go!

Elli 🙂

Happy New Year everyone!!  I know I’m a day late, but better late than never right?

I took these pictures in Philly at Penn’s Landing. My mom and I went in and saw the fireworks for people who don’t want to be out at midnight (at 6 at night). They were really awesome.

Then my mom and I walked over to Chinatown for some yummy vegan chinese food. I didn’t take pictures thanks to a dead camera battery, but the food was really good! We ate at this little place called New Harmony, that makes all vegan chinese food. We had steamed veggie dumplings and cold sesame noodles to start then a steamed veggie (bok choy, carrots, and broccoli) tofu, and cellophane noodle hot-pot (which is exactly what it sounds like, a really hot pot that all that stuff is served in) and Moo Shu veggies (veggies that you wrap up with this thick sweet sauce and rice in a crepe/tortilla looking pancakes that tastes nothing like either, its kind of like a chinese burrito). Both dishes were amazing!!! I haven’t had chinese food in a really long time and good chinese food in even an even longer time.

So now it’s officially 2011! I weighed myself for the first time in a while this morning. I had been avoiding it the last few weeks because ever since Thanksgiving I have let myself go a little and I didn’t want to see how much weight I gained. This week I got back on track for the most part though so I knew I needed to just weight myself and get it over with so I could really get back to losing weight. I gained  pounds ( from 150 to 155) which is about what I was expecting but still not fun to see. So now I am back on the wagon and working on taking every day as it comes.

Thinking into the future has always been the way I operated so taking it one day at a time is harder for me than it sounds. There is this part of Eat, Pray, Love ( I love this book so I’m sorry if I’m constantly referencing it) where her sister visits her in Rome and she points out how her sister is always commenting on how she hope she comes back to all the places one day and Liz Gilbert says “but you are here now!”  I am like her sister, always, focused on tomorrow or next year not on today. I think it’s a cause of a lot of my bad moods because I am always thinking about how I want my life to be int he future and how I can get there as opposed to just enjoying where I am now even if it’s not ideal. I am doing my best to keep reminding myself to stay present though.

Today is soup making day in the house. Soup is a frequent dinner for me since it’s a fast, easy, and low-calorie dinner. We are making some “everything-but-the-kitchen-sink soup” that my mom always makes with tons of different veggies that is a staple of my diet, and then some white bean soup with carrots, butternut squash, onions, and sage in the crock pot. so the house basically smells like heaven right now!

Today is my last day of my winter break. Which means I have to go back to school tomorrow! This has been a really nice break, and very much-needed since I have been really hating school lately. I am trying to just enjoy today and not think too much about getting up at 5:30 tomorrow and going back *shudder*

There is not much else to report here so I will leave you with some french toast that I had for breakfast on Christmas Eve morning. I hadn’t had french toast in years ( I know it should be a crime, but its not exactly weight friendly)

Beautiful! I cooked some apples in butter and cinnamon and sugar until they were all soft and sweet then added some cherries at the end, and then topped the toast with that and some bananas and dried cranberries and of course plenty of maple syrup! I can make the actual toast part myself but my mom made it because she always did when I was a kid and there is nothing like it! It literally tasted like my childhood (although I didn’t have all the fancy toppings then)!

So that’s this weeks blog post! I am thinking I will probably end up posting on Fridays normally but we’ll see what happens. Awhile back I got a request to post what I eat in a day and I haven’t forgotten don’t worry. So hopefully I can finish that soon and post that in a week or two!! I hope everyone had a great New Years and I hope you all have fabulous 2011s!!

Elli

So its been waaaay to long since I’ve posted. Its my fault. I have been slacking off the past few day. 😦

The reality of how close school is starting to hit me and I am kinda in denial 😛 Tuesday I was super busy trying to fit in some reading after the first volleyball scrimmage of the season. I may not be playing but managing is far from easy (on the brain at least) and reading bio after I got back was a struggle.

Thursday I went into Philly with the madre to meet this woman who is a grad student (I think?) and who is working at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for Weight Management. I am constantly in search of a person who can help me understand why it is so freakin’ hard for me to lose weight! I think I need someone who knows about like physiology or something but they seem to not exist. She was a psychology student but she focused on behavior instead of “feelings” and stuff. I wasn’t really thrilled about going because I didn’t think she would really tell me anything I didn’t already know… but I figured I would give it a try. Surprise surprise she was no help 😦 She wanted me to use their “program” which would involve calories counting. Now I have nothing against calories counting I just can’t do it my self. I get completely obsessive and paranoid. On top of that she wanted me to come in a least every 2 weeks. Except she’s in Philly, I’m in New Jersey and I hardly have time to breath during school (especially vball season) season let alone go into Philly every other week. I’m already going to school, doing homework (at least 2 hours a night but often much more), and working out. So it just wouldn’t have worked. Maybe if she was exactly what I wanted we could have made it work but she wasn’t so we won’t 😛

It’s so sad that summer is really ending! I have 3 full days of my summer left 😦 Monday I am running a 5 mile race in Ocean City, NJ (did I mention this already?).

Breakfast this morning was this cereal along with some 0% greek yogurt, blueberries ( possibly the last of the season 😥 ), banana, flax, pumpkin butter, and honey…

yum, yum, yum

I was planning on not running today and going to a morning kickboxing class but I got there really late thinks to my genius move of accidentally throwing out the schedule. So I ending up at the gym (soo boring!). Here is what I did:

20 mins : Running 6.3-6.5 mph

20 mins: Elliptical

20 mins: Walking 4 mph at 5% incline

10 mins: free-weights (5 lb.)

Normally I would just run but I didn’t want to run too much because my ankles and lower shins have been hurting a little and I wanted to be as kind to them as I could.

After my workout I had the lunch of champions! A PB&J and some fruit ( peach and cherries, also the last of the season, I’m gonna miss my lovely summer fruits!)

Th rest of the day was utterly uneventful… I went to the barn for like a half an hour just to say hey (and forget my cell phone!), then my mom and I went food shopping, one of my favorite weekend things to do (nerdy?).  We didn’t get anything exciting just the things we need, but it was nice to just hang out with my mom.

Then I had a snack and FINISHED MY BIO WORK!!!!!

That’s right people I read 5, 20 page chapters in 4 weeks!! I finished Brave New World on monday (thank goodness!!). Now all I have to do is finish my essay for AP English. I have 2 paragraphs left… my goal is to finish it tomorrow. I will not spend the last 2 days of my summer freaking out about work!!!!

Dinner tonight will probably be some “Black” Bean Soup if I ever get around to making more. 😛

I promise not to let it be another 4 days before I blog again! hope everyone enjoys their Labor Day weekend!!!

E