Hello friends!

So I know it has been literally forever and a month since I posted on here. The fact is since I started this blog almost 3 years ago a lot has changed for me and I have changed a lot because of that.

I stopped blogging altogether for a really, really long time. I have in the past year been writing a lot more. I have been writing poetry and stories and it has again become a passion for me. I knew that blogging would help me continue to develop my voice as a writer so recently I started to consider blogging again.

However, because I am so different and my life is so different it felt right to begin anew on a different blog. If you are interested in following me there you are of course welcome to! As of now I can promise no kind of schedule or predictability but if you want updates on me they will be there :)

It is called Hypothyroid Diaries. It will be different from 16 an Losing It. It will be less of a food blog and more of a blog about my life as it is now. As the name shows there will be some emphasis on my Hypothyroidism and its effects on my weight etc. But I am more than my Hypothyroidism and so my blog will hopefully reflect that.

16 and Losing It meant a lot to me at the time I was writing it and I am eternally grateful to everyone who read and continues to read my many posts.

With that said, I will say au revoir to this blog but bonjour to the new blog!

Best Wishes <3

Elli

Hello friends!

As I write this I am speeding down I-70 out of Denver, Colorado! I am visiting a friend from backpacking last year and her family. I spent 2 days in Denver, I got in early Saturday morning. Today we are off to Mt. Evans a 14,000 foot mountain we have decided to climb :P it will certainly be an experience to remember although I truly can’t wait to be done with it climbing mountains is not really my thing. We’ll start climbing early tomorrow morning and we’re camping there tonight. I will take plenty of pictures for you guys I promise!

I just thought I’d update you all and let you know I haven’t forgotten you! Hope you are having a fantastic and delicious 4th of July!!

Elli :)

Hello friends!

I know I have been MIA for a while now :( You can thank junior year for that. Junior year was hands down the toughest year of school I have ever had. Somehow, though, I survived, and managed to get straight As despite my crazy AP and honors classes! :) So in the end, even though I thought I might not make it a few times, I did and now I am free for 2 months!!!

I know I left you guys hanging in a big way with my Junior Dinner Dance so I will keep you in suspense no longer. JDD was a ton of fun! I went with a really great group of friends. One good thing that did come out of Junior year is that I found a group of friends this year that I love and feel really close too, which I have struggled to do in past years. My date was also a good friend of mine, although I won’t lie I wish he was more than that (more in that later :P). The dance itself was ridiculously fun even if it was pretty cliché, I mean come on we all love a little cliché sometimes!

So now many of you probably want to know about this guy…

He and I  met in like 7th grade. We were kind of friends for most of middle school. Freshman year we kind of lost touch but last year we had a class together and became really good friends. Around that same time I realized that despite, or maybe because, he was a pretty big nerd (in the best possible sense I believe that being a nerd is a great thing to be :P) I REALLY like him. He’s funny, and in a school where I feel 10x smarter than 90% of the people he challenged me to think. This year we again had a class together and only became better friends. We texted each other almost daily, talked daily, and hung out a few times. To me and all of my friends it seemed pretty clear that he felt the same way about me that I did about him.

So about a week after JDD I asked him how he felt about me. I didn’t confess my undying love for him or anything crazy just “I was wondering if you saw me as just a friend of maybe more…” To his credit he let me down quite easy. He told me that at the moment he was not looking for a relationship, he hoped he hadn’t led me on, and wanted to stay “close friends.” Was I disappointed? Yeah, as high school began I had quickly given up on finding a guy who could get me enough to be my boyfriend. But as we got closer I got my hopes up that maybe I would actually have a boyfriend. So despite him being really nice about it, it was still hard to hear.

I had hoped that we could go back to normal as much as possible after that. Obviously I expected it to be a little awkward at first, but I am pretty mature, and I thought he was as well so we could get past it right? Apparently not. 3 months later, despite plenty of effort on my part, we hardly talk and he seemed to only get more uncomfortable as time went on. :(

And now its summer, so who knows what will happen. I know that his life has not been easy lately and will only get harder this summer. He has problems with his jaw and just today got pretty intense surgery to fix it, the recovery from which will take all summer. But I should also note that he never told me this himself, his mom told my mom who told me. I am hoping that maybe when he has recovered from the surgery and it is not looming on his mind anymore maybe things will change with us, but I am also trying to move on :)

Phew! Lets move away from the personal soap opera now and onto today, which has been pretty uneventful.

I woke up at 7:30, that may not seem late but compared to getting up at 5:30 for school it was heaven. Breakfast was a homemade waffle with peanut butter, fig jam, and a banana with a pear, grapes, and cherries.

AFter breakfast I went to kickboxing ( I love being able to drive!!) and had a killer workout.

Lunch was barbecue tempeh and salad that I forgot to take pictures of because I was so hungry :P

So there’s my update for y’all! My weight is still going up and down, although more the former than the latter unfortunately. My thyroid medication seems to be working as far as my blood tests showed but I haven’t been having any better luck on the scale yet but I will keep you posted.

I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of summer, especially if you are still in school!!

xoxo Elli

About 2 weeks ago I went to an endocrinologist. My mom and I decided that if after a month or 2 of Weight Watchers, if I wasn’t losing weight there must be something physically wrong with me. So we sent this doctor some old test results I get about a year ago when my family doctor checked my thyroid and told me it was normal. It turns out that is isn’t normal, and I basically have the thyroid of a 90-year-old woman. My thyroid was like more than 3 times slower than the doctor’s and he is a 50-year-old man. So basically I have hypothyroidism.

So I left his office with a drug that basically will speed up my metabolism, but it takes about 3 weeks minimum to start working. And these past few weeks I have really been struggling. Its gets tiring to work really hard to eat really well and yet not see any results from that hard work. Sure sometimes eating healthy is easy, sometimes when I eat healthy I feel thinner, happier, stronger,  and in control. But, and I don’t really know why, being that  in control is hard to keep up.

For most people there is a little wiggle room in weight loss. That’s why WW has the extra weekly points. Most people can eat over the points allowance by a small margin every day and still lose weight, maybe a little less weight, but a loss nonetheless. For me going over by even 1 or 2 points everyday basically guarantees I will gain somewhere between .5 and 1 pound.

This week I went over by 5 or 6 points many days (and more 2 days) and gained 3 or 4 pounds. I wish I could say that I am taking it all in stride, people always tell me how impressed they are with my attitude towards weight loss. But I can’t lie and say that I am not seriously frustrated by the lack of control I have over my body, and even more so by the fact that in the past few weeks I have not taken control of the small part that I do have. I let myself go a little. I think it was the knowledge that I have hypothyroidism and that when the drug starts to work I will be able to lose weight like a normal person. And so I loosened the reins, not drastically, just to the place where I imagine most people trying to lose weight hold them. The only problem is that I am not most people yet, I’m still the 17-year-old with a 90-year-old metabolism. And so I have gained consistently the past few weeks, and they are numbers that are not easy to see on the scale. To think about the fact that in October I was 151 and today I am 170, makes me so angry and frustrated. There are days when I just want to give up, eat everything I want and then just crawl into be and pretend that nothing exists, just hide from my problems. I know that is far from the answer to my problems, but unfortunately I also know the answer is not easy to put into practice.

What makes this all even harder to me is that JDD is this Friday. I got my dress back from the seamstress yesterday, and it was tight. Not unwearably tight, it just didn’t have that fits-me-like-a-glove feeling I hoped it would have after getting it altered. It fit me perfectly just 3 weeks ago, but I have gained 5 or 6 pounds since then, if not more. It still looks gorgeous and as long as I don’t gain anymore this week it will be fine for the big day. But still… it’s not a happy feeling.

So all I can do this week is tighten the reins again. Sure I know I can’t keep them tight forever, but I have to so everything I can this week so my dress can be as comfortable as possible and I can enjoy JDD, and not think about my weight.

I have felt very out of control the past few weeks, in addition to my weight gain, the AP tests are coming up very fast and I don’t feel particularly ready for them. Yet I still haven’t studied, and I wish I had a good reason why, but it’s really just avoidance. Also I need to find a job for the summer/senior year, but the idea of just going around, asking the places I have in mind if they need someone, and giving them some silly little resume with no actual work experience on it makes me really uncomfortable. Like so many other things in my life right now, I am avoiding taking any action.

I know the response to all of these issues, I have to get out of my comfort zone, it’s the only way I will grow, and I have to just stop thinking about everything and just do it. But that is all much easier said than done…

I’m sorry this blog was basically just one be whining session. I hope next time I blog I will have better, happier things to talk about.

I hope everyone is enjoying their Spring (thank goodness it’s finally here!) and if you celebrate Easter I hope its great!

<3 <3 Elli

Ahhh!!! I know, I know I basically disappeared for the month of March, it was a busy month for me and while I wanted to log I just couldn’t find the time to really sit down and write anything for you guys…

So what’s new?

Well I wouldn’t have called March a particularly exciting month for me some things have definitely changed. First, I got my braces off!!! I am so glad to be rid of those things. On the downside now I have to wear my retainer which is probably even more annoying than braces and I’m not sure it fits right, which means I have to trek all the way back to my orthodontist this week to make sure it does.

In other news I am still on Weight Watchers with little success. I am tracking everything I eat, working out (cardio and strength) and going to meetings yet I have gained almost every week! I’m not going to lie and say that it hasn’t been seriously frustrating at times. On one hand I am used to trying really hard to be “good” and not seeing results, on the other hand its Weight Watchers! I should be losing weight with them if I do everything right! I do feel like I am getting great support there regardless though, the leader and all the other people there are so friendly and encouraging.

To maybe try to understand why I am struggling to so much I have an appointment in a few weeks with an endocrinologist. I’m not getting my hopes up, but it would be nice in many ways if there was something medically wrong with me that explains why it is so hard for me. It would mean a definitive answer and solution.

I don’t have any new food to show you guys but here are some old meals of mine!

Mediterranean Beef Stew from Weight Watchers.

Salmon with dill sauce and sautéed spinach and tomatoes also from WW.

Fish has become a pretty regular meal here, its quick, yummy, healthy, and not chicken :P

Eggplant Lasagna, this is God’s food I swear! This is what I want to have for my last meal if I get to choose… I cannot adequately express how deep and passionate me love to this lasagna is.

Chicken with fennel, pine nuts, and raisins, this would have been really amazing but despite being cooked for-ev-er the chicken wasn’t cooked enough which is just ewwy.

With green beans and cauliflower puree, I loooove cauliflower puree! probably even more than regular mashed potatoes…

I promise I will get back in the habit of photographing my meals so I can share them with you guys, we have been cooking a lot more lately so I have a lot to share!

In the non-food/weight-loss world things have been improving also. This winter was pretty bad for me, my mood was pretty generally low, but in the last month or two I have been improving. I don’t really know what changed but the days just feel a little easier again. Also (and this probably has helped my mood) there’s this guy…

Yup a guy. His name is Jordan, we have been friends for a while, and I’m not really sure when I realized that I liked him. He is quite smart, and I think that has to do with it. I may not be a genius or anything but I am relatively smart and it’s nice to talk to someone who is on my level and maybe even smarter than I am. He challenges me and I think I like that. I alway’s kind of thought he felt the same way but I was never sure, until recently. Lately we have been texting a lot and we have hung out a few times. The biggest proof was that he asked me to JDD or Junior Dinner Dance (aka Junior Prom). I obviously wanted to go with him, but he doesn’t normally go to school dances and I thought I would have to drop hints left and right to find out if he was going. But he surprised me and asked me totally unexpectedly without any provocation! I have never had a boyfriend or even the possibility of a boyfriend before so this is fun for me… :)

JDD is April 29th and I promise I will post pictures!!

I hope that everyone is having a great spring!! It’s supposed to be warm here this week!!!

xoxo

E <3

I survived another week!

Actually this week was pretty easy as my weeks go. Monday I had off  from school for President’s Day, and the Tuesday we had the world’s lamest snow day. We got like 3 inches of snow and the roads were fine, but someone decided that we couldn’t have school so we didn’t! So I had a 3 day week! The icing in the cake is that on Friday my school had a blood drive, there are 2 every year one in December and one in February. At any given time half of my class was gone either because they were giving blood or because they were in student council and so were working at the blood drive. I actually love giving blood, well I don’t love the needles, or the blood, or the pain (I’m kinda a wuss when it comes to pain) but how awesome is it that by giving blood I just saved 3 people’s lives! And also the t-shirts are always awesome! This time they were Jersey Shore (like the MTV show) themed:

Clever, no? This picture does not capture the crazy brightness of it though, its NEON in real life.

Other than that really not much happened this week. WW went well and I am still feeling really good about eating and tracking. I feel like I’m losing weight so that is nice! It’s so nice to eat fruit again!!

With cottage cheese!

And on its own, this is pear mango, banana, pineapple, and grapes *drooling*

Here was last Sunday’s dinner:

Hawaiian Chicken without the rice, with some kale sautéed with some garlic and some teriyaki sauce.

Thanks to a grill pan it had really nice grill marks, but it the chicken was pretty thick and just wouldn’t cook in the middle so we had to finish it up the microwave. Regardless, it tasted awesome!

Tomorrow I am going up to NYC to see a friend of my mom’s who she hasn’t seen in 12 years!!! It will be nice to get out of the normal routine for a day and take a little trip.

I hope everyone has an awesome week! March is so close and the days here are starting to warm up a little!! I can’t wait for spring!

<3 Elli

Hellooo!!

My mom and I went to the Weight Watchers meeting last Monday, and we really liked it. The leader, Kathleen, had great energy as did the group, which was quite big! I really liked Kathleen, she lost 80 pounds and has kept it off for 6 years so far so I feel like she will be not only a great leader but a great resource! I weighed in at 166, but as it was 5:30 at night, I had just worked out and drunk a ton of water, and I was fully dressed that number didn’t bother me much.

I really found that I could still eat plenty and feel satisfied (which I wasn’t too concerned about honestly) but since WW has this new set up I get 29 points a day so I really just had to cut my portions a little bit. Plus I get extra points for working out which I do pretty much every day so I have anywhere from 3 to 11 extra points depending on if I do yoga or strength or kickboxing.

As it often is I knew I felt good but I had no idea if I lost weight. But I weighed myself yesterday morning as always and I was 158… which means I lost 2 pounds!!! Thank god!!! I won’t be totally happy until I see 150 but the scale is going in the right direction again so I am very pleased.

There were 2 meals worth mentioning this week…

First this beautiful work of art my mom and I made last week

Eggplant Lasagna, with homemade meat sauce (made with ground turkey). WE didn’t really have a recipe for this baby we just roasted some eggplant and then made a basic lasagna. And let me tell you it was TO DIE FOR!! And 1/6 was only 9 points! On the side we had roasted brussels sprouts which are only 1 point because of the oil and were also delish!

The second meal was another Cooking Light chicken recipe (don’t worry I got a new issue so there will be less chicken and more variety soon, this last issue was all about using chicken :P)

This time it was Tandoori Spiced Chicken (it might just look like yellow chicken but it tasted like sunshine! :P)

with my mom’s famous (at least to me) roasted cauliflower.

It’s just cauliflower roasted in a little bit of oil and some other stuff  (what I don’t know) but it tastes so yummy, like only something you mom makes can!

Today we made more of the lasagna and after WW we will have that (how can you not have fresh out of the oven lasagna!) I know I could show you what we had for dinner last night from CL (I lied  you’ll have to suffer through read about one more chicken recipe) but I’ll save it for next blog so I have something to talk about :P

I hope that everyone had a great weekend and President’s day if you live in the US. I <3 random holidays I get off from school for!

Peace!

Elli :)

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